Sometimes I don't want to see Jesus

I just want to write. Sometimes I catch myself just wanting to write. Then how come I can't seem to make myself write my paper that is due Monday? Here's what I have been thinking.

Jenny has been away to Arkansas for the past couple of days. When someone is missing in your life your really get to missing them. You know, that first few hours or possibly day, you really don't miss them. Then the hours and days just drag and drag on and on. Oh my goodness, just shoot me! Well, to say the least, I really am missing her and wish she were here. But, she isn't and that is that. She'll be home tomorrow. I can't wait to see her face!!!

We sing songs about longing to see Jesus face to face. You know, I don't know how much I really want that. Am I just crazy or what? I long to go to heaven. I long to live my life without any pain, misery, unhappiness. But, to see God or Jesus, ooohh, my goodness. It's like seeing your Dad after you've broken the window, or gotten a speeding ticket or wrecked the car. You know you have to face him, but you don't want to. I want to see Him, but I don't want to go through all of the guilt I will feel when I see him.

Grace is what I need to focus on. Grace and forgiveness. I know that all will be well, and I can try, try, try to do the right things while I am here on the earth. My goal is to get to heaven and take as many with me as possible. But along the way, I know that I have faltered and strayed off the path and I know that I have disappointed my Father in heaven. I need to concentrate on the forgiveness that he affords me and the grace that abounds in Him.

So, here I go again. I am going to strive to live the life that God would want me to live. I want to do right by Him and let my light shine. These are just some thoughts that are going through my head right now. That is after all what this Blog is all about. Writing down my thoughts and keeping a journal of my daily thoughts. Thanks for taking the journey with me.