Just Me and My Thoughts

I would like to just ramble if I may. I've been wondering what makes us think we are immune to some things? I will never do that. That won't happen to me. Things like that.
I once told my Mother that I always felt that if I thought about something, then it wouldn't happen. Like, if I thought about my being adopted then it would never be true. Well, that worked. She assures me that I am not adopted. (Not that there's anything wrong with that) You know what I mean, what makes me feel that things won't happen to me?
This thing with Daddy getting cancer, I immediately thought, wow, I just didn't think that would happen to me. Why not? Why am I special? I should have things happen to me just like anyone else.

There are no answers to this blog. Sometimes I just ramble and honestly if you want to stop right now and go on to something else, I'd understand, because there is nothing in this blog that will answer a question.

I'm not asking, "God why me, why me?" I'm wondering where I got the idea that something like this wouldn't happen. I guess we just can't go around in constant fear that something may happen, so we just don't dwell on it.
Let me explain right away that I am not writing off my dad. He is a fighter, he will fight this thing and he has already said that he will beat the unbeatable. I am with him one hundred percent.
What I'm saying is that I am beating myself up for not being ready for this, or something like this. My mom is a warrior and she and dad both have great attitudes about this.
I am really ready to fight.
But I'm gonna have weepy days like today.
Several times someone asked me today, "How are you"?
Well, I'm not well, that's for sure. I'm weepy like a little girl.
I'm not happy. My Daddy's in pain and I don't like it one bit!!!!
However, on another note.
I have an entire host of family and friends praying for Him.
It's a wonderful feeling. They are praying in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Alaska, California, Louisiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, Iowa, Kansas, and if I didn't mention your state and your are praying, well, forgive me. Those are just the ones that I can think of. Wow what a response it has been from all over, people pouring in the encouragement and prayers.
Thanks so much and I just want to say that my attitude has changed tremendously about this entire ordeal that we are about to go through.

I'm still weepy...looks like that's just the way it's gonna be.
I love you all